I've done a lot of crazy (and stupid) things in my life, and as much as I'd like to think otherwise... I'm likely to do a lot more in the future.

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Some of my adventures sound fairly impressive out of context - climbing Kilimanjaro, running a few marathons here and there... but for those who know me, it's painfully clear that none of these things have been executed with any sense of grace or aplomb. I am, as my mother would say, "cack-handed" to say the least. I fall over... a lot (both literally and figuratively). I have a chronic case of verbal diarrhoea (especially when I'm nervous or uncomfortable... which is all the time) and I have no sense of self-control (particularly after a drink or twelve).

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So I've decided to put my constant and continuous misfortunes to good use in the form of a blog. Hopefully my disastrous life, with its infinite twists, turns and excruciatingly embarrassing moments, will provide entertainment for others. And perhaps some poor bugger somewhere who is having a bad day can read my blog and realise that his, her, or their life is not that bad in comparison.

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Enjoy the records of my riotous life, folks. They are here purely for your amusement.